Tired: “My favorite Christmas movie is Die Hard. “
Wired: “My favorite Christmas movie is Eyes Wide Shut. “
You can be forgiven for finding the now-annual seasonal announcement about Die Hard’s prestige as a Christmas film exhausting. What started as a funny anecdote turned into a cold, hot edition of the “funniest” type in the office. There are even officially authorized branded products that celebrate the authentic Christmas of the movie!At this point, any discussion on the subject is purely educational and I think we are all in a position to move forward.
Which movie, technically just a Christmas movie, will emerge as the selection of “real” filmmakers on the Internet?Forgive me for suggesting that Die Hard will ever get old, but there will actually come a day when it will be necessary to watch some other so-called Christmas movie. Tastes and seasonal celebrations may vary, but here are 28 moderate options.
As a movie that doesn’t unfold like Christmas, The Thin Man is as festive as it gets, with much of the main action taking place at an alcohol-filled Christmas party and a hungover Christmas morning that followed, in which Nick and Nora, two adults with no children, open their doors, They pick up their gifts and spend a casual, informal time that the day only provides for other people without children. The sequels would soon feature Nick Jr. , so this will be the last time Charles’ family will be able to spend Christmas this drunk.
Will it be your next Christmas classic? Make a martini and stir it every December 24th.
Where to stream: Max
Actor Charles Laughton’s sole directorial effort sees Robert Mitchum’s terrifying and seductive (but more commonly terrifying) preacher making his way through local singles as an occupation, all the while believing he’s on the right path. It is based on a Christmas scene and also on a lynching. , with the strong suggestion that quoting the Bible is not even the same as having true compassion.
Will it become your next holiday classic? Set up a little tree on your raft as you flee down the river.
Where to stream: Tubi, MGM, Hoopla, Pluto
Largely set between Christmas and New Year’s Eve, Billy Wilder’s Best Picture winner was highly debatable upon its release and also managed to garner a slew of awards, ushering in a new era in Hollywood cinema. Jack Lemmon plays Bud Baxter, an insurance employee who has risen through the corporate ladder by lending his apartment to superiors to use for extramarital affairs. In the midst of all this, a strong affection develops between Bud and Fran from Shirley MacLaine, the elevator operator at the office building, a woman who has experienced a loveless and joyless affair with Bud’s boss. As it happens during the holiday season in real life, the plot is as dark as it seems for each of them, until a few flashes of seasonal spirit shine through.
Will it become your next holiday classic? If the similarly grim It’s a Wonderful Life can become a holiday favorite, then there’s no reason The Apartment can’t follow suit. (Like that movie, this one involves themes of suicide, something for viewers sensitive to that type of content to keep in mind.)
Where to stream: MGM, Fubo
A fast-paced, sweet-colored musical comedy about young lovers (Catherine Deneuve and Nino Castelnuovo) separated through cases in the titular city. Almost every one of the words is sung, in French, and with operatic zeal. . . but without the bombastic taste that implies. The film’s climax comes on Christmas Eve, but it’s a bittersweet holiday (the film itself takes place over the course of just over a year).
Will it become your next holiday classic? One of the most beautiful films ever made, certainly in terms of its color palette, it also offers romance that’s somehow both realistic and wonderfully melodramatic. So, I’m thinking yes.
Where to stream: Max, The Criterion Channel, Kanopy
Christmas kicks off the chaos that unfolds in this twisted vintage of John Waters. When she can’t get the cha-cha heels she was looking for from Santa, the youthful and antisocial Dawn Davenport embarks on a life of troublemaker. It’s one of the most memorable Christmas moments. in the history of cinema and a hard lesson about the importance of giving your children what they want.
Will it be your next Christmas classic? John Waters is rarely very much for each and every one, however, for those of us who dream of cha-cha heels at Christmas, this is one hundred percent a movie that can be seen every year.
Where to Stream: Digital Rental
Donald Sutherland and Mary Tyler Moore star in this Best Picture-winning film about the collapse of a circle of family after the accidental death of their oldest teenage son. The film’s pivotal scene takes place at Christmas, when the surviving brother’s resentment toward his mother erupts at a family circle photo shoot.
Will it be your next Christmas classic? It’s worth a visit, but I’m going to say no. . . Unless your family life is so devoid of trauma and drama that you feel the need to enjoy a vicarious tragedy.
Where to stream: Maximum
Christmas is going to hell in Terry Gilliam’s dystopian but increasingly prescient sci-fi film. A satisfied circle of family members watch Tiny Tim on TV when the movie premieres, only because of a hardware error that sent a SWAT team into his living room. Step out of “A Christmas Carol” and into a bureaucratic and capitalist hellscape (aka “life”). Brazil sees characters who create madness and struggle to distinguish truth from fantasy in a world where elites gently control information. Imagine!
Will it be your next Christmas classic? It’s probably a bit tricky in our offering to offer some sort of comfortable viewing, but it’s definitely worth watching at least once.
Where to stream: Digital rental
Clay (Andrew McCarthy), a college freshman, returns to Los Angeles over Christmas break and discovers that his old friends (Jami Gertz, Robert Downey, Jr. and James Spader) are living a very strange lifestyle. from the 80s, full of sex and drugs. and debauchery. Everyone is definitely having a very white Christmas, if you know what I mean, but there’s no snow falling in Los Angeles (it’s cocaine. I’m talking about cocaine).
Will it be your next Christmas classic? This one is probably generational, but other people who lived through the ’80s might appreciate a nostalgic laugh.
Where to stream: Starz
Maybe you’ll get bored of watching the first Die Hard over and over again, but you’re not too far off from the “Bruce Willis shoots terrorists” type. It’s worth remembering that Die Hard 2 is also a Christmas movie: it’s set on Christmas Eve, two years after the first film. Unlike so many sequels, it’s almost as fun as the first one, and we really realize how awful it is for the holidays, so there’s no explanation as to why we shouldn’t mix things up. Go up a bit.
Will it be your next Christmas classic? You probably won’t update the first movie in your Christmas viewing queue, but at least it’ll be a great (I mean strong) double feature.
Where to stream: Hulu
The holiday season in Gotham is as good as you’d expect, with a surly penguin running for mayor and a seductive leather-clad mother jumping around, robbing jewelry retailers and stealing hearts. As the Bat movies go, Returns offers the most productive mix of cheesy sensibilities of yesteryear with the mentally and obsessively dark Caped Crusader of vogue.
Will it become your next holiday classic? The movie’s central Christmas tree lighting action sequence involves a woman thrown from a building, but it’s generally no less violent than Die Hard, and holiday themes persist throughout (mistletoe is deadly if you eat it, you know). It’s probably your best bet if you aim to have a superhero holiday.
Where to stream: Max, Prime Video
Guillermo del Toro’s brilliant debut sees an elderly antiques dealer and his granddaughter opening up a centuries-old archangel statue to find a scarab that transforms the man into something very like a vampire. It’s set during the holiday season, but the Christmas connections are mostly thematic; death and rebirth, temptation, and potential redemption abound.
Will it become your next holiday classic? Del Toro turns Christmas on its head and challenges orthodoxy, making it a great choice for the holiday-skeptical. All of the director’s movies are highly rewatchable, so I say keep bloody vampire Christmas in your heart, this and every year.
Where to stream: Max, The Criterion Channel
What better way to spend Christmas than with the ninth or tenth most productive Star Trek movie?Although the series eschews anything to do with religion, Generations briefly discovers Captain Picard trapped in the Nexus, an extradimensional realm that seduces you by allowing you to live out your fantasies. Picard, it seems, dreams of a Christmas with a giant family, in a vaguely old-fashioned setting. The result is a sort of variant of Life is Beautiful, with Jean-Luc witnessing a vision of what His life can be like as if he had never gone to the stars.
Will it become your next holiday classic? It’s the only one on this list with anything remotely resembling a Christmas theme, but there are better Star Trek movies to watch over and over.
Where to stream: Paramount
Stand-up Dennis Leary plays a con artist who ends up taking a couple (Judy Davis and Kevin Spacey) hostage when a task goes wrong; The joke is about him, because the two of them are on each other’s necks on both turns. They are the most bitter and hateful people imaginable, and Leary’s thief/hostage-taker is shown not only as the most sympathetic character in the film, but also as a peacemaker, especially after the rest of the family shows up for Christmas Eve dinner. Terrible in-laws? At a Christmas meal? Can you imagine?
Will it be your next Christmas classic? It’s a bit caustic to do the normal rotation, but it will offer a break to cleanse the palate after the holiday schmaltz.
Where to stream: Hoopla
Babe offers a complex view of the holiday season, most productively summed up by the phrase “Christmas means carnage!”At least that’s the case with the charming anthropomorphic animals on Hoggett’s farm. On one level, it’s a full-fledged movie about the titular pig who discovers the dark secret of the season and then does his best to get out of the oven.
Will it become your next holiday classic?It’s delicious, but you might have to skip the ham at the afterdinner — Oscar nominee James Cromwell went vegan while filming.
Where to stream: Starz
The surrealist vintage of Jean-Pierre Jeunet and Marc Caro reaches not one, but several Santas; Most of them pretty scary, honestly, but that’s beside the point. The film is about Krank, an elderly being whose inability to dream has made him evil. and cruel; Now he is kidnapping young people and stealing their dreams of survival. The father of one of Krank’s victims (Ron Perlman) teams up with an orphaned woman (Judith Vittet) to rescue the kidnapped youths. There is a strong general theme, that of family, uncovered or not, which consolidates the character of the holiday.
Will it be your next Christmas classic? It’s surreal and a little scary in places, but it’s also a cute fairy tale, with warm seasonal themes throughout.
Where to stream: Tubi
What could be more festive than a movie that starts with a Christmas party?On this specific holiday of “Bloody Christmas,” based on true events, an organization of Los Angeles Police Department officials traps and beats several (mostly Mexican-American) prisoners, the kind of thing that, in fact, may only take a stand in the afterlife and obviously doesn’t matter. Current relevance of any kind. However, Bing Crosby’s music is a motif everywhere, and all of this takes place during the holiday season. Ho ho ho!
Will it be your next Christmas classic? It’s as dark as Christmas movies, but no more violent than Die Hard.
Where to stream: Plex
Channeling the now-quaint anxieties of the turn of the millennium, Arnold Schwarzenegger’s team with director Peter Hyams (Timecop) for the story of former NYPD detective Jericho Cane (hit by a knock on the nose) battling Satan (in the guise of Gabriel Byrne). ) the Christmas season, and if the devil’s baby is born before New Year’s Eve, this will signal the end of the beginning times. It’s a bit (very) silly, but it’s a fun way to smooth out brain wrinkles and get sleepy. Holiday afternoon.
Will it become your next holiday classic?Infused with Catholic imagery and set around the holidays, it can be a fun Christmas clock, though it probably won’t stand up to repeat visits.
Where to stream: Digital rental
By far the most productive of the post-’90s Pulp Fiction imitators, Go also boasts the most productive actors (Taye Diggs, Sarah Polley, Jane Krakowski, Timothy Olyphant, etc. ) and the most complicated script, which tells the overlapping stories. The Christmas drug business went awry. While there’s not a lot of Christmas spirit here (there’s no learning and none of the characters are even smart people), the film reminds us of that frequently, and a bit ironically, when all of this happens. – The inclusion of a medium – A Christmas-themed rave film that is well suited to that goal.
Will it be your next Christmas classic? If you’re looking for an antidote to all that holiday cheer, then absolutely. (And for the thirsty, shirtless Timothy Olyphant wears a Santa hat. )
Where to Stream: Digital Rental
There are an incredibly limited number of dreamlike and erotic mysteries that are considered Christmas videos; that number can actually be one, and that’s Eyes Wide Shut. Stanley Kubrick’s swan song begins at a vaguely naughty adults-only Christmas party and ends. with a more traditional Christmas shopping spree with the kids. These scenes close out a somber walk through New York City in winter and a ritual, so the film captures literally every single facet of the season.
Will it be your next Christmas classic? Maybe I’ll do worse than spend the holidays with Kubrick. . . But maybe wait until the kids go to bed first.
Where to stream: Showtime
The opening scenes stretch like an old edition of a Hallmark/Lifetime-style Christmas movie: Tom Hanks’ Chuck Nowland is a painting junkie who offers a Christmas dinner to tackle a painting project. Only his homework project is in Malaysia, which FedEx runs. In the aftermath of this air disaster, most of the rest of the film takes place on an abandoned island, but “all of this may have just been avoided. The general leitmotif remains.
Will it be your next Christmas classic? Nowland’s seclusion may seem like a desirable fantasy amid the chaos of a family visit, though nervous air travelers might want to avoid it altogether.
Where to Stream: Digital Rental
A completely understated neo-noir through Harold Ramis’ past, The Ice Harvest is set on Christmas Eve, a time when only the most attractive people in the world are on the move. John Cusack and Billy Bob Thornton play con artists who have just scammed a gangster out of $2 million. All they need to do is leave the city, a fuzzy purpose through an ice typhoon that has closed the roads, forcing them to calm down while avoiding their pursuers.
Will it become your next holiday classic? It’s a pitch-perfect noir following the cascading, complex events of a harrowing Christmas Eve, so it’s a great contender if you’re looking for something to put your personal holiday chaos in perspective.
Where to stream: Digital rental
Maybe not robbing a toy store at Christmas? That’s very much the seasonal message you’ll get from Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, but that’s not necessarily what we’re here for. The understated decorations of a Christmas in Los Angeles are on display, embodied (pardon the pun) in Michelle Monaghan’s skinny Santa Claus suit. Director Shane Black has everything to keep his videos going for Christmas, so you can combine this one with Iron Man III and live Christmas dreams with Robert Downey Jr. and Val Kilmer. However, this is almost in fact the most productive of the blacks.
Will it be your next Christmas classic? As an action option for Die Hard with an equally charismatic frontman, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang may be the best replacement.
Where to stream: Digital rental
It’s Christmas in the Wild West (1880s Australia, actually, though Western taste abounds) and a homicide is brewing. In this case, it’s a choice given to renegade Charlie Burns (Guy Pearce) through lawyer Morris Stanley (Ray Winstone): Burns will have to hunt down and kill his older brother, wanted for rape and murder, or his younger brother, who is already in custody. with ordinary functionality and taste, even a trace of festive greenery.
Will it be your next Christmas classic? It would possibly be too quiet to watch sleepy on Christmas Day, but it deserves a spot somewhere on your Christmas watch list.
Where to stream: Peacock, Tubi, Crackle, The Roku Channel, Freevee, Vudu, Kanopy, Pluto, Plex
Colin Farrell and Brendan Gleeson play two not-so-good hitmen who hide out in the town of the name, on the orders of their volatile boss (Ralph Fiennes). This black comedy is full of clever and funny dialogue, and almost paternal quotes between the Two Killers is really charming. . . Just like the Belgian Christmas decorations. Still, it’s a movie about hitmen that begins with the murder of a child in a church, so the laughs are of a very special kind.
Will it become your next holiday classic?It definitely has a well-deserved reputation as a cult classic, so I’d say there’s a good chance it’ll come back for more.
Where to stream: Starz
Two trans sex workers (Kitana Kiki Rodriguez and Mya Taylor) set out across yuletide Los Angeles, on the hunt for Rodriguez’s character’s cheating boyfriend/pimp. There aren’t a ton of queer holiday movies (unless Meet Me in St. Louis counts), and Tangerine compellingly explores a Christmas on the margins. It’s set in sunny LA, so the festive trappings are muted—and for the leads, “family” would hardly mean group photos in cozy sweaters anyway—but it’s Christmas all the same. A haunting, gorgeous rendition of “Toyland” seals the deal.
Will it be your next Christmas classic? This may be your Die Hard faggot, no doubt.
Where to stream: Mubi, Fubo, Kanopy, Plex
The chemistry between Rooney’s Therese Mara and Cate Blanchett’s Carol is palpable from the moment their eyes meet in a crowded branch: Therese works during the holiday season, while Carol is a glamorous older woman who is getting divorced and running errands for her daughter. It’s 1952, and their love is one that doesn’t dare to utter their name, not even to each other. Women suffer for their love, though not exclusively; ‘Tis the season of sadness and romance.
Will it become your next Christmas classic? Christmas may be a little more joyful, and this is already a queer classic.
Where to stream: Netflix
A seasonal romance that culminates with a Hanukkah celebration, the sweaty vibe of Call Me By Your Name in northern Italy doesn’t scream winter festivities. . . But who wants snow anyway? All you need is a peach and a cozy fireplace in front of which to weep artistically. The finale even touches on the themes of perseverance and renewal, and is wonderfully thematic.
Will it become your next holiday classic?Armie Hammer’s troubled character complicates the film’s reputation, but Call Me By Your Name in a different way turns it into a bittersweet Christmas romance.
Where to stream: Netflix
Pablo Larraín’s moody and idiosyncratic biopic breaks almost all of the rules of the genre, to great effect. Kristen Stewart plays Diana, Princess of Wales, spending the Christmas holiday at the royal family’s estate at Sandringham as the tabloids attack from the outside and her own in-laws eat away at her from within the palace. It’s kind of like The Shining, but with too many royals subbing in for all the ghosts.
Will it be your next Christmas classic? I’m not sure we’ll be able to see it over and over again, but the dreamlike vibe is well suited to a long winter’s night.
Where to Stream: Hulu
Former child star turned dog owner.