Last updated on August 10, 2024
When things don’t work out between you and the person you married, you suffer inside, you worry about a new life without the other and what he did to you. feel in the past. Then he passes it on to you: what about your children? What’s wrong with them? Is divorce bad for children?
Beyond the monetary aspects of marriage and the resolution of who will stay with the young people, there is much discussion and many parents about the effects of divorce on young people and the emotional turmoil they suffer. It is not just parents who suffer failure. of the union.
Often, young divorcees endure chaos in silence.
Children may feel very guilty about the end of the relationship. Some young people might feel that the marriage ended because of anything they said or did.
Unfortunately, without assurance from the parents that the divorce had nothing to do with them or their actions, their children would likely harbor this and also feel anxiety about wasting the other parent in their lives.
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Some young people begin to act to show the distance that separates them from their new life situation with family members. Suddenly moving from a safe two-parent home to a single-parent home can be devastating for some. For others, withdrawal is preferable to avoiding further injury.
Of course, young people who are uncomfortable in a strange environment may retreat to the protection of their fantasies, friends, and tasks—anything that prevents them from admitting that something is wrong.
The Journal of Clinical Child and Family Psychology explored young people’s adjustment to divorce by locating trajectories. Some young people act because the only parent in their full-time life is distracted and beaten during the situation and avoids them. As a result, misbehaving youngsters begin to hope that their new habit will force their parents to pay attention to them. Possibly this would be the only way for these young people to ask for help.
The loss of a parent through divorce can be as traumatic, in some cases, as the loss of a parent through death. While some were previously accommodating, many would likely feel a loss that the other parent is no longer in their life full-time. .
In DK Simoneau’s book, We Have a Tuesday, Simoneau describes how young people living with either parent, but necessarily under the same roof, can find answers that are helpful to both divorced parents and affected young people.
Ultimately, parents want to read between the lines and stick to the nonverbal cues that young people send to help with this problem. Unfortunately, your child may still feel a sense of loss, but there are tactics parents can employ to ease those emotions over time.
Although most parents protect their children from the negative effects of divorce, resentment can build. This is especially true when it turns out that one parent has moved on to another love, another life, and, in all likelihood, another family.
Children would possibly feel out of place and have no idea where they stand in the lives of their absent parents.
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Believe it or not, your children love you both. So attacking one – or denouncing the other – does not prove that you are a hero. In their eyes, you are making an already complicated scenario unbearable.
In addition, the fights will only give the absent father a valid excuse not to keep his children. And guess who will be the villain in this scenario?
Getting more than a few words from your children becomes more and more as they get older. So come and listen. If your child gives you that rare moment to step into their world, take advantage of it, as a 2020 study argues.
When your children ask to talk to you, force them. Even if the last thing you need to do is revive that doomed relationship, if your little toddlers ask you about Dad, offer them some typo words as much as possible.
Yes, you’re still recovering from your new situation, your new debt, and the fact that you now have to start playing on the court again. But it’s none of your children’s business. He also remembers the good times they lived together. like what didn’t work.
I’m not saying we reopened old wounds. Instead, limit your explanations to a minimum while assuring your children that the divorce is all about the dates you went on with your ex, not them.
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Their children have endured enough divorces. Maintaining a set of life rules helps your children understand that even if you have faced a difficult situation in life, you still keep everything in order.
Even if you’re falling apart inside, your kids don’t need to know. It only scares them. Not to mention, their strength and flexibility show them that they too can cope with the difficulties that come their way in life.
Develop routines that minimize the absence of the absent parent.
For example, in my ex’s absence, my daughter and I burned the road to ease the pain of her father’s absence.
We gravitated toward family-style fashion movies, such as Just Go With It and Mrs. Doubtfire, which highlighted children’s divorce reports.
Although fictional, the characters captured my point of view and complicated conversations that I wasn’t sure how to start on my own.
When I wasn’t working, we had our “girls’ day. ” Even when she was looking for nothing more than to sulk in her room with his guitar and her keyboard, I didn’t let her.
Although my daughter would never admit it, she liked having her father’s tactile information. I never told my mother how I felt about it, but I wish I had access to my father, just as my mother had access to him. in emergency.
So in my divorce, I told my ex that I could call or text her anytime. She already had her cell phone, so he didn’t want to call me to have success with her.
Similarly, I made it clear that she could just call or text him at any time because she wasn’t looking to stop them from having a relationship. Some parents make the mistake of banishing the absent father from their children’s lives out of anger. But I remembered how I felt as a child and I didn’t agree with that ideology.
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N. Meridian is an editor, editor of No Crying for Elena, and an independent theme editor. His work has appeared on sites such as YourTango, BlogHer, Huffington Post, and WorkItMom.
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