‘Life is short’ was the slogan that encouraged millions of bored husbands and wives to sign up for the world’s first dating company for married people.
The members of Ashley Madison relied on general discretion and vowed to dream of bringing their sex lives to life with a small aspect, without their spouses knowing.
But a cyberattack in July 2015 revealed the identities of 3 million users, and they feared that the sexual fantasies they had shared on it would also leak.
The consequences were immeasurable: the names and addresses of politicians, celebrities and citizens were spread on the Internet.
Marriages have been destroyed, others have lost their jobs, and at least two others have committed suicide.
The Netflix documentary Ashley Madison: Sex, Lies
Christi Gibson, whose instructor John committed suicide after his identity was revealed, says, “He comes from three generations of pastors. I couldn’t walk into a classroom and continue training knowing that.
“Realizing that your call to Ashley Madison is very impactful to other people. I’m sure there are other people who are angry at Ashley Madison, but I blame the secret, the cancer for the misfortune that eats away at it.
“In terms of other people who were reading this list and the names (witch hunts), I think there’s a certain superiority in that that assumes you’re flawless.
“And when men stoned those caught in adultery, Jesus said, ‘You, who are without sin, cast the first stone,’ and I believe that none of us are qualified. “
Ashley Madison was founded in 2001 by Canadian Darren Morgen-stern, who was inspired by the statistics that 30% of people on dating sites were married.
It has a niche in the market for an online dating service exclusively for extramarital affairs.
The site was flexible for women, but men had to buy credits to interact. The more they sought to communicate with women, the more they had to pay.
Ashley Madison presented herself as “100% low-key,” but staff revealed that her security measures played second fiddle to making a quick buck.
This took off after the risky CEO Noel Biderman and recruited his friend from the formative years, Evan Back, as vice president of sales.
When the company’s daring classified ads were rejected on major networks, the charismatic Biderman made the rounds of news systems and televisions around the world, adding ITV’s Lorraine, presenting Ashley Madison’s ambitious perspective.
He argued that most people who have affairs don’t need to end their marriage and are simply frustrated with their sex lives.
I had imagined my exciting life and it wasn’t anymore. Life has become monotonous.
He claimed that the site presented a safe way to have an affair and could simply save relationships.
Often accompanied by his wife, Amanda, Biderman bragged about his best quotes and how his work allowed him to know how to make monogamy work.
Evan explains, “It’s a dating site for married people looking to have an affair.
“Part of what I love about Ashley Madison is that it’s very outrageous to some people.
“When I went to industry shows, I was asked, ‘Who is your biggest competitor?And I said, “The Bible. “
“In 2015, we had between 35 and millions of members at Ashley Madison.
Sam Rader signed up after becoming disillusioned with married life.
The emergency room nurse, originally from Dallas, Texas, was just 24 years old when he married Nia, his 20-year formative girlfriend, in 2009. They have 4 children.
Sam says, “I enjoyed being a father. I enjoyed my kids, they drive me crazy. It’s a smart life, but I also like this sudden onslaught of responsibilities.
“So many responsibilities. I’m not in a position to do that. Paying our bills, managing our finances, not going into debt. Make sure the loan is paid off. Make sure the electric bill hasn’t gone through like it did when I was a child.
“I had imagined my life as exciting and it wasn’t anymore. Life has become monotonous.
“This symbol of love that I saw in the videos and that I sought so much to be a component disappeared.
“And I craved that kind of passionate romantic love.
“I didn’t need to leave my family, but I was looking for anything exciting in my life. “
During a break from his shift at the hospital, Sam saw the famous line in an Ashley Madison commercial: “Life is short. To have a business. “
He says, “I searched for more smart things that life had to offer. So I signed up because it seemed like they had the answer.
“I signed up with all my genuine information, which was clearly a stupid decision. I used genuine photographs of me and some of my face.
“I think I probably would have worn one without a shirt, which showed a little bit of my upper body.
“When I enrolled at Ashley Madison, I made one of the mistakes of my life. “
To the outside world, Sam and Nia seemed to have the best family life. A cute video of them lip-syncing to a hit song from Frozen went viral on the internet in 2014.
This encouraged them to create a vlog for parents based on family life and Christian values.
After Sam posted a video of the unexpected Nia with her own positive pregnancy check in 2015, they gained millions of followers.
But cybercriminals calling themselves Impact Team hacked Ashley Madison’s formula in July 2015 and threatened to deliver to millions of disloyal consumers unless the site shut down within 30 days.
“It’s a lot to deal with in an instant. I started to wobble inside. I felt like my global was crumbling.
In an effort to keep the breach a secret and the brand, Ashley Madison enlisted the help of security experts instead of reporting it to the police.
Seven days later, the hackers went public and the world learned that millions of cheaters were exposed.
Sam knew he was sitting on a ticking time bomb.
He says, “If my call is discovered in the Ashley Madison dump, then it’s over for me and my marriage. “
Neither the police nor the cyber experts were able to locate the hackers, and as promised, they leaked the main account data of around 3. 2 million users.
Hunter, the son of U. S. President Joe Biden, has been named.
Sam also revealed. At first, he denied ever meeting any women at the venue, but then he was forced to admit to Nia that Ashley Madison was just the tip of the iceberg.
Sam had visited strip clubs and massage parlors.
He says, “It’s a simple access to that emotion I was looking for the most. I think having sex in the open air of marriage would be exciting. “
Nia says, “There were a lot of things to deal with in an instant. I started to wobble inside. I felt like my global was crumbling.
“Until now, each and every facet of my life seemed like a lie. Everything we dreamed of: the day we got married, the day we met, those moments when time stopped for us, suddenly. . . It just ended.
When Christi Gibson found out about the trick, she thought John was a member, as she had long suspected her husband of cheating on her.
She explains, “I tried to look up his name. There were obstacles to overcome and I didn’t need to cross them.
“I got to a point where I thought, ‘Christi, you’re not going to do anything about it, so why know?’So I didn’t see any more hoping that I was wrong. “
Six days after the escape, Christi John died in her garage. He had committed suicide.
She says, “Without delay I ran to him. I checked his pulse, his neck, his arms, I felt his skin, it was pale to the touch. He’d been gone for a while, I was sitting there.
“I was surprised. It’s not a day I would have imagined, it’s not a day I would need to relive. It was horrible. “
He later discovered that John had quit his job earlier that day after bosses revealed at an assembly that his call was on the Ashley Madison leak.
EVERY 90 minutes in the UK a life is lost to suicide
It does not discriminate and affects the lives of other people in all areas of society, from the homeless and unemployed to developers and doctors, TV stars and footballers.
It is the leading cause of death in people under the age of 35, deadlier than cancer and car accidents.
And men are 3 times more likely to commit suicide than women.
Yet it is rarely talked about, a taboo that threatens to continue its fatal ravages unless we all prevent it and wake up to it now.
That’s why The Sun introduced the You’re Not Alone campaign.
The goal is that by sharing practical advice, raising awareness, and learning about the barriers other people face when talking about their intellectual health, we can all help save lives.
Let’s all promise to ask when we want and pay attention to others. . . You’re not alone.
If you, or know, want help addressing intellectual fitness issues, the following organizations offer support:
But it wasn’t just consumers who were exposed; Biderman also took note.
A second leak concerned the CEO’s personal emails, which said he had used escort agencies and had a series of affairs.
Evan says, “The Impact team got what they wanted.
“They’ve revealed all the information. They charge millions. They handed them the bastard “King of Infidelity,” because that’s what he became, absolutely disgraced.
Although the company presented a $500,000 bounty and a cyber and police investigation, the hackers were never discovered.
But far from crushing Ashley Madison’s empire, the knowledge leak boosted its popularity, and the site now has around 70 million members.
After all, Sam and Nia have decided that their marriage is worth saving, but for Christi, and others like her, there is no immediate chance.
She says, “I imagined Ashley Madison would play a role in our marriage. “
Ashley Madison: Sex, Lies
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